While we enjoy the merry festive pause, my own family had a short break ski-ing in Aspen and Niseko, sandwiched with essential productive networking. While my bonus was appropriately substantial, several other staff members also enjoyed a lesser bounty. Now that batteries are recharged, we are ready for complete sacrificial commitment throughout 2024.

After another awesome six months, I can admire some of the highlights.
Key financial results (sales, profit, ROI, cost reduction etc etc)- tick!
CSG metrics– tick, once more.
Legals, contracts – Tick plus!
Wheeling, dealing, acquisitions, influencing, blending directions – my forte- Gold medal.
Data analytics transubstantiation – Huge tick.
My lean support team (PA’s, driver, pilot, stylist, biographer) – Double tick.
Recruitment, promotions and discards, plus professional development – Big tick.
Supply chain efficiencies – tick
Social media metrics, brand strength, customer obsession measures– Monster tick.
Awards – media campaigns, product QA fabrication, PR, accounting improvements – Tick , of course.
New markets and growth, new products, new customers – mega tick again

Stoney Goose Ridge added one new cocktail to our stellar range of pre-mixed drinks – the revolutionary Molotov (vodka, tequila, cherry, tomato and raspberry); debuted the Bin 666 Fortified, plus our select multi-origin Italian IGT wine blends the NFI (Nero, Freisa, Inzolia) and NFT (Nebbiolo, Frappato, Teroldego). All these colossal strides have increased our market footprint.

And our DRC range has gained traction within our target audience of the hyper-wealthy mega-rich whales- oligarchs, tycoons, moguls and of course music and cinema stars (Chateau Left Feet has been completely oversubscribed).

Stoney Goose Ridge staff willingly execute my inspiring whirlwind of fresh ideas, the drumbeat of innovations driving durable profit growth. My visionary decision-making is part of my critical role nurturing our workforce, and I trust the top talent of my hand-picked executive team to fast-track my initiatives.

I welcome new recruits to our business family – they will prosper under my micro-guidance. And I bid farewell to those that lacked sufficient ability and stamina to meet their responsibility matrix KPI targets – they were demonstrably not the smartest knives in the pack.

While the drinks industry struggles with the ongoing crippling financial demands of Governments, and the unrelenting complexity of legislation and its opaque interpretations, we are comforted that our rivals are essentially clueless and fully occupied by hindsight; paying the penalties repeatedly while our entirely legal corporate structure permits us to sidestep many of the hurdles and pitfalls. Plus, our adversaries continue to be diverted by China, COVID, WFH and whimsies de jour. Stoney Goose Ridge has never, and will never bother with the bulk wine market – wafer-thin margins are anathema to our ethos.

Our inept competitors only move the needle in panic when facts on the ground become writing on the wall; their leaders’ narcissism, ignorance, personality cults and inward focus should cement their position in the pantheon of corporate infamy. Hunting for the missing link that joins the dots, their strategies amount to random, but persistent bungling. How did they get into trouble? Gradually, then all at once! I thank them for their myriad efforts.

Our track record of anticipating workplace trends holds us well while volatile macroeconomic headwinds impact the momentum of our omniversal strategy within the hyperdynamic global marketplace. I anticipate the pull-forward of our targets, accelerating our foreshadowed plans. Concomitted refinance steps have improved our liquidity, increasing the covenant headroom to reflect our potential earnings environment. This positions us ideally to gather distressed assets from our inept rivals, for derisory rock-bottom bargain-basement prices.

I anticipate writedowns of their bloated inventory, as their warehouses of stock sink in a fire-sale.

Remember, don’t agree until I finish speaking – and all I ask for is what I deserve.
Your illustrious, charismatic CEO, Hector A Lannible.