April fools’ day – preview

How often have you read something like this?

Its a challenge for the creative marketers to avoid much of the hyperbolic terminology, and for writers to avoid regurgitating this drivel.

News from Stony Goose Ridge!

Lou Cipher has left Stony Goose Ridge to become export manager of Australia’s second largest DIY funeral company. New Stony Goose Ridge CEO Hector Lannible (former Marketing Manager of Acme Keyhole Manufacturing) says “Lou’s legacy is a wine that truly stands out from the pack. As we expected, it’s selling gangbusters- like hot cakes. Whether at your fine wine retailer, or superior restaurant, ask for it by name”.

2015 Stony Goose Ridge Winemaker’s SGR Special Classic Chairman’s Centenary Triple Crown best barriques Anzac Limited Edition Show night-harvest Reward Super Premium minimal handling Deluxe Estate Range Phar Lap Foundation “s” Collection smooth cool climate Exclusive Fine Museum Badgeholders International Print Art Series hand-picked Proprietor’s Exceptional jewel Quality lost Jumbuck Splendid Autumn Charity Grand Slam old Lone Gumtree Hill long drought Ancestral bold Rare Merit boutique Executive Choice low Sulphur Legendary Apex 5 Generations Custom Masters spur-pruned Flagship Federation foot-stamped Elite Partners Anniversary Mount Saint Bruce Ironstone Bespoke Genuine small batch Supreme Family blessed Elemental Hommage Collectors Stampede deep Red Carpet perfect surprise Cuvee individual Heritage clones DV8/XS2 Vintage Extra Gold Cup Broken Fence basket press Prime Export Grade aspirational Millennium Proud Dream Team Signature feng shui  accountant’s fright Patriarch’s Ultimate Personal Ultra Garagiste Reserve Prize Bin 666 Crowleys’ Own high altitude Ancient dry creek snake gully Home Single Block Q Devil’s Derelict crooked rows bush vine Royal Cellar d’or Commemorative Alluvial reef Vicar’s Graveyard Memorial Hero Celebration Printers Errata miracle Great Champion Secret Wisdom double frosted Match Race Podium non-irrigated Superior Sailor’s Ghost extremely low yield Pioneer fairytale imperial Opal Terroir Squatters’ awesome destiny Black Velvet ungrafted Summit Billabong Label Traditional method Unfiltered Select Private Pinnacle Icon Eureka Stockade barrel-fermented wild yeast Synergistic Grenache/Mourvedre.

(RRP $9.95)


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