CEO Hector Lannible launches this brand-new brand extension; ”everyone loves Champagne; and ice-cold Prosecco is ultra-hot. But Stoney Goose Ridge now has a truly bold mash-up of the best of both – Chamsecco®. Chamsecco® is our tribute to these winning international sparkling styles. It’s easy to pronounce, easy on the gullet, and importantly, easy on the purse.
“We live and breathe wine – it’s literally in our DNA and in our blood at Stoney Goose Ridge. We don’t skimp at cutting corners; we’ve used appropriate grape varieties- red and white, and dynamic methods – both rustic and hypermodern to craft this beauty, at a price people can’t afford to ignore. We absolutely needed this wine to positionalise our price-point leveraged segment differentiation into our SKU category marketplace brand portfolio architecture dynamic nuanced deliverable matrix. And it tastes just fab.
“Laws of libel mean I never stoop to denigrate our competitors, their ethics, management or the calibre of their offerings. Stoney Goose Ridge is entirely differently unique, with profound quality, brave creative products, moral integrity and distinguished leadership. We take customer satisfaction fervently, with precise deliberative holistic NPS measurements as one of our integral ongoing longitudinal perception attributes. And far from cannibalizing existing market entrants, Chamsecco® leads at the forefront of the frontier border edge; the pioneering concept is modern, new, contemporary, innovative and state-of-the art. Our banking consortium supporters were delighted to extend brokered agile tiered mezzanine federated front-end lock-step hybrid index bespoke rebated prime collateralized tapered packaged triage leveraged hedge financing – at a discount- for this breakout initiative.
“When I reached the blending facility, assessed progress and made my incisive contribution, the other wine fabricators again shook their heads, startled by my sublime blending talents, amazing descriptive powers, and decisive directions. Some people are born to greatness, some have it thrust upon them; some earn it through achievement – it’s certainly rare that these characteristics come together in one package; that’s why I’m the CEO. I’m not even a type-A personality- I’m type A plus! I put the pedal to the metal to sail full throttle into uncharted territory. This launch is one of my very proudest moments this quarter.
“Chamsecco® contains bubbles, so take care when opening; have your glasses ready when it froths out, and be prepared for maximum hedonistic pleasurable enjoyment. And we are vibrantly health-conscious; with our patent-pending proprietary technological breakthrough prowess through what our tech geeks call reverse thermo micro oxy crossflow, Chamsecco® has 23% less calories, meaning no need to stress out even if you slightly over-indulge.
“Whether for a wedding, hens’ nights, out with the crew from the office, or just kicking back at home, this wine is absolutely perfect. And what an amazing back-story journey! As we all acknowledge, for far too long, women have been sidelined, ignored, marginalised and belittled in the industry, regarded as onlookers concerned solely with label appeal. Stoney Goose Ridge is once again making a profound statement respecting equality, restoring pride, recognition and celebration to this unfortunately neglected sector. And of course we don’t have artificial barriers preventing consumption of Chamsecco® by people of all gender situations.
“And there is another special group of younger people – gen Z. We have absolute faith in their astounding future and potential. They are not looking for cheap booze to swill themselves into alcoholic oblivion- they are acutely conscious of their quality beverage appreciation instincts and aspirations. Again, Stoney Goose Ridge is sincerely hip, fervently channeling the zeitgeist, providing viable pathways to explore expanding horizons. We will nurture their journey. And when these worlds collide, Chamsecco® approaches an obligatory mandate. But Chamsecco® is not just for this intersecting set; it’s remarkably suitable for all personages of legal-drinking status across assorted age categories right up to nonogenarians and beyond.
“Chamsecco® is no aggressive upstart Johnny-come-lately one-trick wonder pony flash-in-the-pan lucky fluke. Masses of profound market research went into the comprehensive conceptual framework, bottle design, label colours, branding, and even the ultra top secret classified formula of what’s inside. We guarantee that our target demographic cohort will lap it up, especially with our viral kick-starter social media blitz frenzy flash campaigns. And we have our unique wide-ranging trail-blazing ubiquitous support paraphernalia for our ongoing differentiated supply-chain partners. Stoney Goose Ridge will corral the market uptake of this key specialty wide-ranging niche.
“Please be upstanding, charge your glasses and celebrate with Chamsecco®.
“Fancy without being pretentious, when you order or open Chamsecco®, everyone will approve. Stoney Goose Ridge has another runaway hit success with a bullet on the sales charts with Chamsecco® – the feel-good instant party starter”.
NV Chamsecco® (RRP $9.95)
- Made exclusively from fermented Australian grapes.
- Under pressure.
- Drink in moderation.
- Parental guidance recommended.
“It’s a bit pink, sweetish but not nasty, and doesn’t give me a headache” said Ashley-Jane*, “and my BFF’s thought it was totally awesome. I always have Chamsecco® in the fridge just in case we want to get smashed or buzz up before going clubbing or out to a party”.
Tegan* said “Even my boyfriend Jack* drinks Chamsecco® when he’s run out of beer, and it’s got more kick than cider or mixers”.
* Name altered for privacy, security, legal, regulatory, OH&S considerations.